I visited Bangkok for a short getaway to usher in the new year of 2026. I remembered Bangkok fondly because of the pleasant experiences from my previous trip. When you miss something, distance and time seem to stretch themselves. I thought my last visit was a year ago, only to realise it had been just nine months earlier, in March 2025.

This sense of longing and missing something—or someone—is known as dukkha, or suffering, in Buddhism. When we long for something, the intensity of not having it is magnified in our minds. In my case, I was missing the food and the pleasant experience of shopping in Bangkok.

Naturally, when we miss something, we try to re-experience what we once enjoyed. I therefore decided to visit my favourite restaurant chain, Kub Kao Kub Pla. During my visit in March 2025, the branch at Icon Siam offered a wonderful experience. I was seated at the open balcony overlooking the Chao Phraya River. A dim table lamp cast a romantic, candle-like glow, and the food was simply delicious.

This time, I thought it would be a good idea to recreate that experience on New Year’s Eve. Boy, was I wrong.

I did not realise that there would be a massive countdown celebration at Icon Siam on 31 December 2025. The crowd was insane, and the restaurant was packed. Reservations were only available to guests willing to commit to a special celebratory package costing about $200 per person. I suppose that is the price to pay for dining beside fireworks exploding overhead. We decided not to go for it. For context, I usually spend around $50 for a meal there. That was my first disappointment.

We then went to the Central World branch for dinner and waited almost an hour just to get a seat. When the food finally arrived, it did not live up to the standard I remembered from March. Another disappointment.

In our daily lives, we tend to cling to memories of good experiences from the past. The desire to relive them drives us to try and recreate those moments. We meet up with old friends we once had great fun with, revisit restaurants that gave us memorable meals, rewatch movies, or return to the same holiday destinations. Yet in reality, the exact same experience is never possible.

This is because time has passed. Our minds have changed. Circumstances have changed. Our friends have changed. Everything has changed. Perhaps even the chef’s mood had changed. Such change is unavoidable because nothing remains permanently static. Everything is impermanent.

When we chase happiness that was experienced in the past, disappointment in the present is almost inevitable.

After that disappointing meal, I immediately wondered if I should have visited a newer restaurant instead. At least then, I might have had the chance to experience something fresh and delicious. When such thoughts arose, they created a sense of regret—another painful emotional ride. Little did I realise that this regret was built upon a “what if” scenario that never occurred. It was simply an assumption that another restaurant would definitely have made me happier. This is what we call delusion.

It also did not occur to me that many holidaymakers were congregating in Bangkok. With so many people dining out, the kitchens were likely working non-stop. Perhaps the chefs and cooks were exhausted, and standards were compromised. That is ignorance.

When my desires were not fulfilled, bitterness arose. That bitterness fuelled thoughts of dissatisfaction and discontent. And when the mind is burned by bitterness, the experience only worsens.

The teachings of Buddhism can help us avoid such mental turmoil if we remain mindful of what the Buddha taught. Foremost, living in the present means not dwelling in the past or trying to recreate it for pleasure. Instead, we live now and stay open to new possibilities. We observe present conditions and remain aware of the thoughts passing through our minds. Thoughts rooted in craving and aversion create pain, shaping how we perceive the world and interact with others.

As we internalise the Buddha Dhamma, we learn to loosen our grasp and let go of negativity more quickly. Just as we instinctively drop a burning coal from our hand, we learn to drop unhealthy thought patterns before they cause further harm, allowing the mind to return to balance.

For experienced practitioners, this process can take only nanoseconds, as they are deeply sensitive to what is happening in their minds. Naturally, they experience more peace and happiness in life. Hopefully, we can be like them one day. Until then, we simply need more practice.

May all be well and happy.