When we talk about doing good, many people omit the importance of speech. We think that good deeds are limited to volunteering at charity events or donating money. Actually, good deeds start with our daily activities and the little things we habitually do.
When we start changing our daily activities for the better, our life will also change for the better. And one of the most important aspect of life is communications.
Good speech is good communication. Communication is the transmission of our thoughts to another person or being. Therefore, it includes the things we post on facebook, tweeter, instagram etc. It includes our daily dedication of merits to unseen beings. It has the power to influence and change our environment.
In this post let us talk about habitual complaining. For a parent, it can be a simple remark such as, ‘ How I wish you can be as tidy as your sister.’ Or complaining about your spouse in front of your friend. Or complaining about your supervisors to fellow workers during lunch.
When we complain habitually, we encourage our mind to focus on bad things and experiences. Our mind will start focusing on magnifying bad situations. So much so that every little things become unacceptable or unbearable.
Over a period of time, the habitual complainer will experience a world that is full of faults. Isn’t that a painful way of living?
Worse of all, they yearn to validate their feelings or complains with others. They want you to see and feel what is bothering them. And if you do not see eye to eye with them, it threatens their reality. Consequently, a complainer attracts other complainer. It begins to build an unhealthy misperception of the world.
Therefore, it is important for is to be aware of our speech pattern. Do we complain and whine all the time? If we do, then it is important for us to reverse that habit.
The easiest way to do that is not meditation but to observe the precept of skillful speech. We stop ourselves from complaining and start to praise. The best practice for praising is to recite those praises found in our prayer text. They praise the exemplary qualities of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha.
Through these praises we learn to lookout for praise worthy qualities in our life. Loving kindness, compassion, wisdom, truthfulness. righteousness, patience, and many many more. We learn to focus and magnify such positive qualities in life.
Over a period of time, we learn to tune in to the good side of things and abstain from an unhealthy obsession to look for faults. When that happens our perspective of life will shift. Plus, positive people attracts positive people. That way, life will become better.
May all be well and happy.