Kamesu micchacara veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami
I undertake the precept to refrain from sexual misconduct.
Starting from me, I abandon excessive sexual craving
May the world also end sensual dependence. May there be freedom.
I feel that the buddhist perspective to sex is practical. For a monk , sex is prohibited. Whereas a layman can have sex but is advised to keep it under check, so that craving and desire does not run amok.
The guiding principles is not to harm others and not to harm oneself physically and mentally.
General consensus of what is considered basic acceptable sexual practice is;
- The sex partner should be of suitable age
- The sex partner is not committed to a relation with another person.
- The sex is consensual
The buddhist fundamental aim is to rid oneself of desire and greed. Thus any action, speech or thought that promote or develop sensual craving is considered bad for Enlightenment.
Like all other precepts or practices, the depth of your practice depends on what you. Beyond the above, we may impose further restriction voluntarily. For example, refraining from oral sex or anal sex. Refraining from sex on holy days or months etc. It is personal.
Observing precept is a process and we try our best to keep our sensual energy in check. We take baby steps to improve ourselves. In this instance improvement means we are no longly would by our sensual craving but gradually gain mastery over it until we are free from sexual craving. Nice?