Dakkhina Vibhanga Sutta

When she said this, the Buddha said to her, “Give it to the Saṅgha, Gotamī. When you give to the Saṅgha, both the Saṅgha and I will be honored.” 

For a second time … 

For a third time, Mahāpajāpatī Gotamī said to the Buddha, “Sir, I have spun and woven this new pair of garments specially for the Buddha. May the Buddha please accept this from me out of compassion.” 

And for a third time, the Buddha said to her, “Give it to the Saṅgha, Gotamī. When you give to the Saṅgha, both the Saṅgha and I will be honored.”

https://suttacentral.net/mn142/en/sujato?lang=en&layout=plain&reference=none&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin

Here, I invite you to imagine the feelings of Pajapati. She had spent a considerable amount of time and effort to make a monastic robe for Shakyamuni Buddha (her stepson) and wanted him to accept it, and wear it. But Buddha wouldn’t accept it and directed her to give it to others.

It’s like your mum spending an entire morning baking a cake, bringing it to your office and you tell her, give it to my colleagues! Imagine how she felt. In this instance, it was a heart-wrenching dialogue of Pajapati imploring her son to accept her gift.

When he said this, Venerable Ānanda said to the Buddha, “Sir, please accept the new pair of garments from Mahāpajāpatī Gotamī. Sir, Mahāpajāpatī was very helpful to the Buddha. As his aunt, she raised him, nurtured him, and gave him her milk. When the Buddha’s birth mother passed away, she nurtured him at her own breast.

So Ananda, who was Buddha’s cousin had to interject and plead with Buddha to reciprocate Pajapati’s thoughtfulness and love, by simply accepting the robe. He took it upon himself to remind Buddha of what Pajapati had done for him. It is appropriate to remind ourselves that Ananda had not attained enlightenment too, just like us. With Ananda’s interjection, it made Buddha look like an ungrateful brat, right?

Let’s side-track a bit here. Have you ever wondered how Buddhists have such a rich and detailed biography of Buddha? It’s from the Pali Sutta. These are almost like diaries. In this instance, we witness a “family” scene between Buddha, his step mother, and his cousin.

If we look at the above scenario with heartfelt emotion, it is not difficult to side with Pajapati and Ananda. But remember the Velama Sutta?

Previously, we had read Velama Sutta and know that the benefit of offering to the Sangha is greater than an individual Buddha. From this perspective, we can appreciate the differences between Buddha and his step mother.

While Pajapati wanted Buddha to have the robe she had made, Buddha wanted Pajapati to receive the best benefit from her action. Here is a typical case of conflicting views, each individual wanting the best for the other person and not seeing eye to eye! And we have experienced such conflict ourselves, haven’t we?

See, sutta can be very vibrant if we try to see deeper. So who’s right and who’s wrong? For those who decided to use this story as a Dharma discussion, have fun!

Now back to the sutta. From a Buddhist perspective, Buddha at this point in time is “bigger” than himself. What I meant to say is, Buddha Shakyamuni is no longer just an individual. He represents an entire belief system and a new religious order! A new social movement that is defining man, society, and beliefs. Whatever he does, or say will affect latter generation like us.

SO, are there any significance in Buddha’s rejection of the gift? Yes, indeed.

1. Buddha was already in possession of a set of clothing and didn’t need a new set of robes. Therefore, this is in compliance with the established rule of the monastic order. No Hoarding! Besides being a very environmentally friendly rule, it also discourages us from mindless giving. Offer only what other people need. Nowadays, many Buddhist devotees like to gift monastic robes to the Sangha in the monastery. Even when they have more than sufficient in the storeroom.
2. Buddha demonstrated that self-entitlement is discouraged. As the founder of Buddhism, he already demonstrated that the order of monks is greater than an individual. In short, the community is more important than even the founder! If you happen to watch Netflix and have seen “How to Become a Cult Leader”, then Buddha demonstrated how Buddhist leaders should behave. No self-entitlement. If all Buddhist leaders behave in accordance with Buddha’s example, there will be no room for Buddhist Cult to flourish.

I think point number 2 is really important for laypeople to learn. We shouldn’t indulge individuals. Therefore, our attempt to gift the best presents to renowned monks, nuns, or laypeople is really against Buddhist principles. In the Buddhist circle, we constantly witness devotees of famous Buddhist leaders gifting them various luxurious items. From cash to branded bags to limousines; actually, these actions are against the Buddha’s ORIGINAL TEACHING.

A wiser manner to make a donation is to gift our offerings to the community. Therefore, instead of making cash offerings to an individual monk or nun, it is more appropriate for us to donate to a monastery or temple. The resources will be pooled together and redistributed in accordance with the monastic rules.

Also, it might be a good idea to donate to those organizations that audit their finances and disclose their financial status to the public in a transparent manner. Remember, in Buddhism, the first step toward the spiritual path begins with the renunciation of luxuries. Therefore, we should donate responsibly too.

May all be well and happy.