This has to be my most memorable moment in Seoul; being asked to leave a restaurant!

I am sure many of us have a long list of things to see, eat, and buy when we go on vacation? With all those non-stop tastings and eating, it wasn’t surprising that I found myself not really hungry for dinner most of the time. But a list is still a list and I must taste Ginseng Chicken (samgyetang). Moreover, it is supposed to be nourishing.

On this particularly fateful evening, I shortlisted a Samgyetang restaurant in the MyeongDong area. After sitting ourselves (Travel buddy and myself), we peruse the menu and decided to order one Samgyetang and one Side Dish for sharing.

The lady who took our order looked like the boss there and she didn’t speak English. Neither do I speak Korean. She shook her head and made the sign of an “X” by crossing both her arms after I placed my order. Following that, she pointed to me and pointed to the samgyetang picture on the menu and raised one finger. Then she pointed to my buddy and pointed to the same picture and raised one finger again. Deep inside, I knew it meant that each one of us must order a samgyetang but somehow, my mind refused to accept that interpretation. So I repeated my order. point to samgyetang and raise one finger, pointed to Korean pancake, and raised one finger. then gesture my buddy and myself and said “Shaaaariiing” slowly, hoping she would understand.

Without missing a beat, she repeated her previous communication and this time round indicated that we should leave her restaurant by gesturing us to the exit! And she managed to do all that with a smile on her face! Not to mention that the neighboring tables were starting to look in our direction. Oh Great!

In a moment, I can feel the anger starting to bubble up and her smile that seemed friendly a while back is now turning into a sinister smirk in my mind. Then memories of various marketing concepts and imageries of being mocked came into my mind. The monkey mind really worked very fast. This is followed by suggestions of how to react. Imageries of TV shows, news clips, etc flashed through my mind. “Bang the table and scold her for being rude!”, “Stomp off!”, “Leave a bad review in Google Maps!”, etc. I decided to ignore all those suggestions.

So instead of stomping off or yelling, I forced my mind to think compassionately. Perhaps there is a reason for her to insist on such a policy in her shop. It is her business after all. Let’s practice tolerance and compassion. It is not that I cannot afford another bowl of samgyetang, I just don’t feel like eating too much…..

And of course, I have to quickly think of something to pacify my buddy too. “Oh, this is normal in Korea. They are well known to be brutish. Let’s just eat here and we don’t have to finish everything if we are full. Other tables have a samgyetang each. Let’s just sample the samgyetang and not spoil our evening,…

So all that happened in really less than a minute. Thinking back, that one minute could have made a vast difference for that night. In life, many moments of regret started with that 1 minute.

That lady boss smiled and bowed slightly when I repeated my order again based on her recommendation. Shortly after that, drinks were served and cutleries were placed. The lady boss came back to explain how to eat the samgyetang. A container for the discarded chicken bones, and ginseng wine to be added into the soup before eating, you can add the rice into the soup to make a rice soup halfway through the meal. She isn’t that bad a person after all?

The samgyetang was supper boiling hot! There is no way I can finish the soup in 30 minutes without burning my mouth. The heat doesn’t dissipate because samgyetang was served in a heated-up earthen bowl.

That means the table will be occupied for at least an hour, provided that the customer just focused on eating without talking or doing anything else. Then I noticed that the other tables before us were still occupied by the same customers. Korean people were just chilling in the restaurant and chatting away after their meal! I don’t see that in Japan. Customers in Japan leave immediately upon finishing their meal.

Since the dinner crowds are limited to a specific period of time, I began to understand that perhaps the boss needed to maximize her business intake during peak hours. Putting myself in her shoe, I became sympathetic to her shop policy.

There are various policies that can be deemed rude or discriminatory to a foreigner. For example, certain restaurants or cafes have a no-children policy because children are considered a nuisance? Especially, when their parents do not know how to keep them in check.

Bearing in mind that everyone is trying their best to earn a living after all. I guess it is up to individuals to decide how far we wish to extend our empathy to business owners. After all, we have the liberty of spending our money elsewhere.

The meal ended on a happy note, the lady boss was polite and professional, I guess we just have to respect their policy and how they run their business. After all, it would be too assuming of us to insist that we are always right. We ended up finishing every single drop of the soup even though we weren’t hungry, to begin with.

So I guess, Buddhist training helps me get a hold of myself and not do anything bad during that one minute. It keeps me out of trouble and I had a happy evening. Plus I tasted a delicious soup.

May all be well and happy.