Do you notice yourselves becoming more apologetic after practicing Buddhism?
In any argument or disagreement with others, you tend to step back first. And if someone is angry, you apologise first. Not that you think you are wrong but there is this willingness to give way. An openness to see if you have any faults and whether you had harmed others unknowingly. There is even a concern for the other party getting angry because you know that anger burns their mind.
It may come to such a point that your close family and friends might even ask, “what’s wrong with you? ” “You seem to have lost the fire in you?” “Have you lost your courage?”
There was once when I apologized to a rude security guard and my friend was so offended by it that he became angry with me instead of that guard….
Sometimes, it is a self-reflective moment when you suddenly realize that you are always taking a step back and being the 1st to say sorry. Doubt may surface your mind. “Have I turn myself into a softie?” “Am I being chicken now?”
This is especially pronounced if you used to be bad-tempered, impatient, fierce and etc.
Don’t be afraid of losing that bad part of yourselves.
Many practitioners become more empathizing, more patient, more tolerant, more compassionate and etc. These are indications that you are changing for the better. The spiritual yardstick differs from the materialistic or egoistic ones.
To become a butterfly, a caterpillar needs to let go of its worm identity.
Likewise, if you are wise enough to walk the spiritual path; Then it is important that you do not judge yourselves with the wrong values. To a practitioner, winning an argument is no longer important. Having the capability to retort with sharp sarcasm is no longer a good skill.
In short, if you discover yourselves changing. Then take a moment to self-reflect. If it is due to acquiring more virtues, then do not be alarmed by your changes. Do not miss your old self. Because you are changing for the better.
May all be well and happy.