Articles

Dealing with hurtful words

If we experience unhappiness because of frivolous things people say to us, then it is important to remember;

They have their rights to say their mind, and we have our rights not to react.

Of course this is usually easier said than done. For beginners, we tend to have no control over our mental reactions. We become sad, angry, demotivated, insulted, embarrassed, and etc when words reach our ear. Since young, the adults train us to react to words because that is how we communicate. We were even taught how to react to words. Remember, an insult can do no harm unless you understand it?

Unfortunately, many of us did not learn how to “switch off” from frivolous or non-helpful words.

Words are just sound

A hurtful word cannot hurt us if we do not understand it. For example, an insult in a foreign language has no bearing on our mind. Thus, we should know that another person’s word can only hurt us if we attach any importance or meaning to it. “You are so lazy”, when spoken by our superior versus our innocents toddler will have completely different impact on our mind.

Don’t be bothered by immature people. They are just big baby.

Smiling and walking away

Have you heard about Buddha’s Golden Silence? We might be mistaken into believing that Buddha received warm welcome and receptions where ever He went. In reality, some people were dead against Buddha’s doctrine of equality. Some hired gangster to jeer and harass, while others hired scholars to slander and pick a quarrel.

When faced with such obstacles, Buddha just smiled and walk off!

If people behaved like wild animals, refusing to see wisdom and spouting noise, isn’t it logical for us to ignore them?

Sometimes, the words spoken by others are just like wild monkey chattering. Do not disturb or feed them?

We are lotuses in the mud

Malicious words are like mud. Dirty and filthy. Being Buddhist, we should aspire to be like lotuses, arising beyond those muck. To do that, we mustn’t loose sight of the Dharma. Keeping our peace, we do not engage with those malice. In that manner, we remind ourselves not to lower to their level.

Stand tall and proud, like a lotus. Malicious words are just mud.

Words are useful and meaningful when they help to bring harmony and happiness. Alternatively, they can bring about harm and misfortune too. With that in mind, we need to remember that our ears and mind belongs to us. We get to choose how we use them in our daily interaction.

May all be well and happy.

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